and Doing a Brilliant Job

Well, my lovely people, I will leave it up to you to judge if Netflix is doing a good job on sex education, but first they released the cartoon “Big Mouth” for tweens and now the series “Sex Education” focusing on teenagers, being really brave and accurate in their observations.

I wonder who are the writers of these series? How do they put their material together? Do they actually talk to teenagers about their experiences? Or do they simply try to remember their own?

I won’t give you any spoilers, I hate spoilers (and yet I live with the biggest spoiler of all times lol – but actually I think it’s cute how my partner can’t wait to share a movie or series with me:).

I will only say that the main character reminded me of myself when it came to knowledge about sex.

I’m not entirely sure why I was so curious about it since a very early age but I tried to read anything about it wherever I could. Back then there was no internet, so all I had was one beautifully bound and illustrated proper book on sex which my mother kept hidden, and then there was a magazine for kids called Bravo with a section where a proper doctor was answering teenage questions about sex.

Bravo was a German magazine but I lived in Slovenia, so my friends were only buying it for the posters of pop stars in it. But I actually knew German and learned a lot.

For someone who had very bad experiences far too young, as a teenager I had a surprisingly healthy stance on sex. And since my friends noticed I can easily talk about sex, they kept coming to me for advice, sometimes they still do or at least open up about it and we share our experiences.

It keeps surprising me how different we all are in what we like when it comes to sex. But one thing we all have in common – our insecurities. Some more than others. Opening up about them makes us feel vulnerable. So I guess the partners who manage to make us trust them enough, get to hear about them. And something wonderful happens in that moment – the one thing we had been afraid of the most (which is to not be accepted for who we are) turns out to be a waste of time and we end up being closer to our partner and they start to love us in that moment of imperfection.

I have a confession. I appear to be all fine and confident about myself and for most of it I (finally) am. And yet…and yet I keep on making pressure on myself to become perfect or not to look older. I deny myself to drink alcohol and constantly try to watch what I eat so I wouldn’t get wrinkled baggy skin under my eyes. But the more pressure I make, the more Sensation Crisps I eat. My favourite is the Chilly one.

And here we are. It’s one of those typical female things, isn’t it – the insecurity about our bodies. Every man is scared of her question “Do I look fat in these pants?”

We don’t even give the guy a chance to compliment us on our figure, we just set him up for failure because no matter what he says, she will be mad.

And even if you men compliment us every day, it helps but it is never enough. And I’m sorry about that.

I have a trick. Do you wanna know? I don’t ask these kind of questions any more. Part of me is unhappy how much weight I gained in the office again but I know it’s pointless pointing that out aaaaaall the time. I know it’s unsexy.

What is sexy? Confidence. I had this fat but beautiful friend and she always got a great man. Because she was simply so full of life and sparkling and that was attractive like hell. So I think of her whenever I want to berate myself in front of my partner. I do one better – I try to enjoy my curves and feel sexy about myself and bring that into bed. And then we actually have more sex than we otherwise would have if I retreated in my unhappiness, and with more fun in bed I ACTUALLY feel accepted and ok and really sexy.

We humans are weird. I don’t know who teaches us women to be uneasy about our bodies. I’m really sorry.

But that is why I started taking photos of my friends, doing portraits, to SHOW them how beautiful they are! And it worked!

I guess we ALL need as much appreciation as possible. And to most women, yes, beauty is important. It’s literally in our DNA.

So ladies, go and tell your man how great and strong your man is and how much you need him.

And gentlemen, look your woman in the eyes and tell her how beautiful she is and see how she blossoms in an instant. And then find an opportunity to say it at least once a week or even every day. My man doesn’t believe in words that much but he found a way to say that to me often, by simply addressing me in a message on Whatsapp with ‘Hey, Beautiful, what shall we do this evening?’

Go, go, go and do it! 🙂