Hi, I’m Dasha, author of the amazing book “Don’t Chase Love – Cut to the Chase”. I’m doing a series of articles on relationships and in the next couple of weeks I’ll give you an insight into mine.
If I’m trying to teach vulnerability, it’s only fair to show how it’s done.? This is the second of seven articles. I’ll try to make this brief and amusing. Imagine someone sitting across me, with a microphone held to my face and grilling me:
Journalist: “Dasha, last time you’ve explained what’s it like to be married to a genius, the founder of Kryotech Ltd and his amazing app Vox Messenger. But you also mentioned at the end, that you knew you were marrying Batman, hence why you can’t really complain that he doesn’t have much time for married life.”
Me: “Oh gosh, everyone will get the impression that I have no married life at all. Let me correct that a bit. My Batman is definitely aware of his husbandly duties and is feeling bad when he doesn’t have time to focus on us. (Not that I ever make him feel bad about it, I’m super proud of what he’s doing.) Hey, Catwoman isn’t a needy chick, right?
So he makes up for it with little things during the day.”
Journalist: “For example?”
Me: “For example I have to pay a staircase tax.”
Journalist: “What on earth is a staircase tax? LOL.”
Me: “Well, I work upstairs of our little house (which here in the Midlands by the way doesn’t cost more than a room in London) and every time I want to go upstairs, he flies to the staircase and demands a kiss before I leave.
Which of course only makes me yearn for him even more but it’s so sweet! He literally says ‘Where is my staircase tax?!’ He makes me feel as if I was in a goofy romantic Hollywood movie. Scratch that – Bollywood movie.
Another thing he knows I need to feel loved is to just touch me while passing by, in the kitchen, in the dining room. It’s just a brief hand on my hips or a hug and a kiss. It’s just as valuable if not more than hanging on the bed (we don’t have a couch) and watch Netflix.”
Journalist: “How come Batman doesn’t have a couch?”
Me: “Well, we’re still in the building stage of our lives. Instead of investing in a bigger house and furniture, we are still keeping the Batcave at a minimum so we can keep our projects going.”
Journalist: “So tell us, why Batman?”
Me: “First, he has this really cool Batman tattoo, of Dark Knight rises. It’s the character he grew up with. He didn’t have a father or any male figure worth speaking of, so he dove into the DC comic book world.
The white kids wouldn’t want to play with him, the black kids wouldn’t want to play with him, so he lost himself in old classics and the comic book world. I think he’s one of the most educated people in this country if not in the world. For example: he read ‘The Art of War’ at the age of six.
A boy needs a masculine role model. His was Batman. Not Superman, not the Joker, but a real man who decided to fight for those who couldn’t fight for themselves. A protector who had no super powers but the sheer will power to see things through.
He trained, was combat skilled and he cared. A leader, a hero who was judged often as a vigilante and prosecuted by the very same people he tried to save.
I’m not surprised that Jean-Brunel took on this role model. Batman has a code of honour and a strong moral compass. And he is not afraid to give his life for it.
That’s my husband – the absolut protector, skilled in combat, a true alpha who lives by strong ethics, relentless, fearless.
He IS Batman – minus the money for the moment, but that will change soon as well.
But guess what, money doesn’t matter to him and doesn’t matter to me. One more value that we share. We want to invest most of any of the money we achieve through our profits, into local businesses and build ethical companies which treat the employees fairly.
For example – he will insist that every employee joins a union. There is no debate.”
Journalist: “Wow, crazy. Sounds like a lot of work. When will it stop?”
Me: “Oh, the work never stops, not until every child, woman and man has a good education and a chance at a decent wage and a decent life.”
Journalist: “Isn’t it exhausting to even think about it?”
Me: “Counterpoint – isn’t it exhausting to be a nurse in a Covid19 pandemic? Isn’t it exhausting to be poor? Isn’t it exhausting to be constantly treated differently just because of the colour of your skin?”
Journalist: “Touché. One last question. The pictures.”
Me: “Oh, gosh, LOL. First I wanted to include a pic of our wedding cake which had Batman on it. He organised the wedding but I organised the cake to surprise him. It was also his birthday that day, so I wanted to honour him and incorporate the DC world into some wedding details like the flowers which were made out of DC comic books.
But the photo with him in the hard hat and a drill was done when he went to work on construction sites because since Brexit he just couldn’t get an IT job. Even getting a builder’s job was a hassle, trying to get the licence cards, pay for it, the time it took to be sent to him…
But I loved him for it that no work was beneath him, as long as he could provide for his family.
When men are asking themselves what a real man is – it’s taking responsibility. Simple.”
Journalist: “And do you have any tattoos?”
Me: “Yes, I actually do. I got it when I turned 40. It says ‘Shakti’ which stands for feminine energy, something I wanted to encourage in my life.”