Not that I’m complaining… Actually, scratch that, I will moan a little bit and not in a sexy way. From time to time I wish my husband would take it upon himself to take time to seduce me. Wouldn’t even have to be elaborate, but hey, I wouldn’t mind him putting up some extra effort.

Last time a friend of mine said:”I bet you he doesn’t even know what that is, seduction.” – “I bet you, you’re right!” I said.

What is seduction?

We’ve all heard stories of Casanova. And most people roll their eyes at ’50 Shades of Grey’, including me. But it’s very simple why women love stories such as ’50 Shades of Grey’ – the woman (finally) gets some attention.

Dear men, it’s sooooooooo simple, we women are all about attention. Not just because we didn’t get enough when we were little (that too, by the way), but I think it’s just how we are built.

And let’s be fair, men love attention as well and I’m quite sure they are not getting enough of that either, the way they need it. Nagging attention perhaps, LOL. My book is all about that, how we need to appreciate men more. But today I don’t want to write about that. Today I want to think about seduction.

Look, here is what we women have to deal with, in real life. We either have to deal with men who are really very good at seduction (at the beginning) and their attention is 100% on you, they brush your hair out of your face before gently kissing you…and then kissing you deeper, their fingers now sliding into your hair and grabbing you… They will sing songs or make you laugh, tell you a hundred times how beautiful you are (and that one is always a winner, no matter how lame the compliment) – but after a while it turns out that the flame and attention fizzles out quite soon. They either disappear or hang around and suck you dry somehow.

And then there are the men who are complete idiots when it comes to seduction. They fumble and stumble, with words and their feet. It’s cute sometimes and sometimes you can’t be bothered to be patient with it. But if you give the guy a chance, it could well be that he will stick around, be kind, be there for you, be a great partner. He will have no idea how to seduce you, so you will have to jump on him most of the time and that’s ok… It’s just…

It’s just that sometimes we women wish for a change, for the man to take the lead, to take his time to focus on you, your body, your curves… Admire them a bit… Maybe put some music on, some candles. Not every time, just once in a while please.

Now I’ve told you before (in my older articles) that my man does give me the hugs and kisses trough out the day, non-sex related, which makes for great intimacy and it makes me very happy.

But if I ever talk about seduction, he looks at me like a calf at a new door. (It’s a Slovenian saying ‘Kot tele v nova vrata’). And yet I know he knows. The other day, I was just writing at the dining table, he comes up to me and kisses me with such attention (not force, there wasn’t that much pressure on my lips as all that energy focused on me), that I literally got dizzy and out of breath within seconds. “This!” I exclaimed,”THIS is seduction. Kiss me like that and ‘I’m good to go’ any time!”

And yet, when we’re ‘about to get busy’, he will never employ that kind of attention on me.

How should I explain? There is something magical when a man focuses on you one hundred percent. It makes you all tingly. And I resent the fact that some Latino guys had me on the hook for far too long just because of a damn good kiss or his hand on my thigh… I can still remember the feeling after many years… and yet it was just a disaster in the end.

So what do I do? What should I do? Let this dream go of getting some special attention like that from the man of my dreams given that he’s such an amazing partner and person in general? He is worth it. He is definitely even worth being seduced by me every time.

I just don’t get it (and I think that’s what bugs me the most, when I don’t understand something and maybe you can help me out) – men want to be the alpha, they want to feel like the alpha at home, respected, appreciated, they like to feel in charge where possible. And yet when it comes to sex, there is no sign of the man who likes to take over the reins at least a bit.

If my man would focus on me just once as he can focus on his computer games or creating code or a new DC story… then – problem solved.

All we women want when we talk about these things, is at least 10 minutes of your attention – complete, 100% admiration of the fact that you are with us. Give us an hour and even better. But I would be happy even with 10 minutes where it’s all about me, my body, how great it is to see me, to feel me – and where I’m not made to feel that this seduction is about sex. I think that’s the key. Give me that attention as if it was all about me and not about you AT ALL. As if you didn’t have the goal of getting that ‘cookie’ from me in the end. I don’t mind that you want that, just don’t make me feel like that’s the goal – and suddenly I’d be all hot and all over my man if I could relax into a couple of minutes where it’s all about me.

Am I getting this across? Tell me.