Hi, I’m Dasha, author of the amazing book “Don’t Chase Love – Cut to the Chase”. I’m doing a series of articles on relationships and in the next couple of weeks I’ll give you an insight into mine. If I’m trying to teach vulnerability, it’s only fair to show how it’s done.?
This is the third of seven articles. I’ll try to make this brief and amusing. Imagine someone sitting across me, with a microphone held to my face and grilling me:
Journalist: “And we’re back again. So, your husband is a genius, he’s Batman, so naturally he’s a DC fan. How many more sides to him are there?”
Me: “Well, if I leave out his love for listening very loudly to jungle music or loving computer games and cars, I’ll limit it to seven.
Actually there is so much more to him but I won’t tell you everything, you wouldn’t probably believe me anyway and maybe it’s good for the world to keep discovering on its own, how amazing he really is.
So, the DC comic world…”
Journalist: “Does he argue with Marvel fans?”
Me: “Not as much as he could. Instead he tells ME everything about the differences between Marvel and DC which of course, I had no idea about until I met him.
But that’s what we do, right? We take interest in our partner’s things. I find men need a lot of attention, not just us women. They need to feel heard. So I listened and tried to learn and understand. It’s fascinating actually.
I myself never grew up with this stuff. All I ever saw when I was little, was Superman, the first movie. That was it.
But that’s what makes it so interesting, listening to JB. Among other things, he studied film. So he can tell me all about film making, specific shots, the story plots…”
Journalist: “Let me guess, you know all about the Snyder cut.”
Me: “Oh dear lord, YES! He gets so excited about the release and it’s so cute, LOL. I envy JB for his enthusiasm for so many beautiful things. The way he practices Wing Chung or tries to envision how he would make a movie. And then, not long after, a movie comes out with his vision and I’m glad that there’s a movie director out there like Snyder, who seems to be JB in an alternate universe.
Life is just not long enough to do all you love sometimes. I used to have that level of enthusiasm as well, I just don’t know where it disappeared along the years… I’m re-discovering that part of me, thanks to my husband.”
Journalist: “So, how many comic books do you have at home?”
Me: “Hm… I get the feeling that if we had a bigger house and more money, we’d have walls of comic books. Well, apparently most of it he lost in the past years as he had to move, so not that many really. But I love reading them.
Oh, do you know the Sandman books?”
Journalist: “The Sandman books?”
Me: “They are beautiful! Not just the art work, but the story is so deep and philosophical. Neil Gaiman is a giant amongst modern literature. I wonder how people will perceive these authors in say a hundred years.”
Journalist: “So what is the difference between Marvel and DC? Why did he choose DC?”
Me: “I’m no expert of course, in his own words he sees it like this:
Marvel is what kids focus on because it represents (the lies of your parents telling you that) the good guys always win.
But as you start growing up, you start to realise that your parents aren’t gods, they are only humans, and that’s what DC shows – people as they are, as faulty as they are, as complex and failing. Nothing is clear cut. And the good doesn’t always win. Even Superman at some point admits, this world will not let you keep your hands clean.”
Journalist: “That would make sense, him choosing Batman then.”
Me: “Absolutely, especially considering the difficult childhood he had to go through. We need good stories to survive our childhoods. What helped me get through were the Grimm Fairy Tales. He had Batman. Actually, our love for stories and story lines is something we have in common.
Lately I started shooting videos and given that he studied film, we were talking of doing a mini horror movie this summer, but I don’t think we’ll have the time now, given all the craziness that is this year.”
Journalist: “What about Startrek vs. Starwars?”
Me: “Really? You wanna go into that? We’ll never stop talking then. That’s actually a topic I can discuss better with him. He knows both to the t, of course.
And you can imagine he loves anything AI related, Mr. Robot etc. There is hardly a movie genre he doesn’t know.”
Journalist: “What’s next then?”
Me: “Hm, how about next time we talk about the one obvious thing we tried to avoid pointing out?”
Journalist: “What? That he’s handsome?”
Me: “LOL. You know what? A politician recently said to him that he’s too handsome to be in politics.”
Journalist: “Politics? Really? Yes, you mentioned.”
Me: “Yes, he’s a BAME officer in the local area and has a couple of other responsibilities. He was actually asked to organise a #blacklivesmatter gathering here in Nuneaton on the 14th June, coincidentally the 3-year-anniversary of the Grenfell Tower disaster.
He’s doing it as a private individual though. You won’t believe the heat he’s getting. But luckily he has great support from the police who is confident it will go ahead peacefully and will keep in check anyone trying to derail the event. JB can’t stop worrying, he wants everyone to be safe.”
Journalist: “Amazing! You say BAME officer. Now that’s to the point – the right man to represent the racial minority groups given that he’s mixed raced himself, did I get that right? What’s that like, being married to a mixed raced man?”
Me: “Finally we’ve dropped tiptoeing around the subject of him being black. I say black on purpose, because we don’t use the term mixed raced for any other ‘mix’ than that of black and white. So the issue here is the element of black. That’s actually an interesting and vital part of his identity.”
Journalist: “Great, let’s discuss that next time then. Can’t wait!”