Hi, I’m Dasha, author of the amazing book “Don’t Chase Love – Cut to the Chase”. I’m doing a series of articles on relationships and in the next couple of weeks I’ll give you an insight into mine. If I’m trying to teach vulnerability, it’s only fair to show how it’s done.
This is the fifth article of seven. I’ll try to make this brief and amusing. Imagine someone sitting across me, with a microphone held to my face and grilling me:
Journalist: “We’ve established so far that you’ve married a genius, Batman, a DC fan and someone who has to deal with racial issues because he’s mixed raced. How does that loop into him being a politician?”
Me: “Isn’t it obvious? A man who chose the values of Batman, who is highly intelligent, combat ready (yes, he’s army trained and felt he had to choose between the army and his integrity, so he left it) and had to deal with the injustice of this world his whole life – doesn’t such a man naturally gravitate towards the arena which is the root of all injustice today?”
Me: “Yes. Actually, to be fair, he tried to stay out of it for quite a while. But one day he was fed up with having endless discussions with his friends who always opposed him in every view, saying how nothing can be done, giving into the helplessness which all of us feel when it comes to politics.”
Journalist: “So he decided to do something, not just talk.“
Journalist: “So how does this affect your marriage?”
Me: “As I said before, he shares with me every update, every thought.”
Journalist: “Do you ever get fed up with it?”
Me: “LOL, no. At times it takes a bit of an effort to keep up with everything he tells me. But I also know how much it helps him when I bounce off my own views.
I admit, at the beginning I was quite exhausted, trying to keep up with all the information, but it’s like training for a marathon, it becomes easier with time. It’s just like when you train yourself to actually be nice to your partner at all times – also not easy at the beginning if you haven’t trained that particular social muscle before, but it becomes easy as breathing after a while. Hm, everything worthwhile in this world demands effort I guess.
Sorry, back to our topic. This is how it works. No matter what’s on his mind, we have discussions. Sometimes my role is to admire him (this sounds weird but if you read my other articles on relationships, you’d understand how important the play of the feminine and masculine is in order to make each other thrive), sometimes to acknowledge his great work, but often our discussions can get quite deep, heated even, because I don’t always see things as he does.
Or I have a different angle to the topic which then inspires him. This is one of the advantages that we’ve lived in different countries with first hand experiences like for example, I actually know what it feels like to grow up in a communist country. But not that bullshit East-Block Communism from Russia or China.
Yugoslavia under Tito had paradise and didn’t even realise it. Older generations might argue with me but I stand to it. Socialism as a concept and as a word itself got just as villainized as the concept of race, without people ever actually looking at the real content. So now we can’t use it at all.
We need new terminology and maybe even a somewhat new concept, one that will work for our society today, given the economy and the technology we now have in our lives, which I think all political concepts are overlooking because these old generations that are leading us, won’t let go of what they KNEW, which was a world 50 years ago.
Even 20 years ago this world was a different world! None of the current political concepts have considered the ramifications of technology on our lives and what it would mean if we don’t review these concepts and change them accordingly.
Well, actually, we are seeing it right now – it’s not working. The world is struggling and tearing itself apart because of the discrepancy between current reality and those who are clinging to the past.
LOL, it reminds me of people wanting love but then clinging to the view of what love should be, not accepting for what it is or even realising they need to learn about it. Unrealistic expectations always end up in disaster.
And unrealistic expectations are ruling our political system, where people expect a bunch of 70 year old morons to understand the new world of technology today. Well, they understand it enough to exploit the data against us, not realising or maybe just not caring if what they’re deciding now, is going to obliterate the rest of us in the next 50 years.
Isn’t that what every generation kind of says? For example: ‘Oh, global warming, not our problem! It will be the problem of our grand children.’ – Well, duh, hello!? Grandchildren! You don’t give a fuck about them? (Pardon the language.) And that’s how it is with everything else.
Instead of a WWIII we might be looking at a world with a civil war in literally every country – just because the old goats can’t let go of power and even when they are ‘training’ younger people to join, they mentor them to adapt to the old ways, they don’t listen to the needs of the new ones.
Sorry for calling them old goats, but seriously, listening to them these days is not much better than watching a bunch of chimps discussing our current crisis. Am I being disrespectful? Well, am I? Respect needs to be earned and current politics in most parts of this world have completely lost any right to any respect whatsoever.
Back to our discussions between JB and I. This is what happens quite often: I say something which inspires a thought at his end and he has an ‘aha’ moment. That’s how Vox Messenger was born. What was it again…? We were talking (well, more bitching) about how we were all manipulated through accessing our info on Facebook and Whatsapp, which was then abused in the battle for the Brexit vote and the presidential vote in the US. And we all know the outcome of that fiasco.
The very things we value so much in our lives, are blatantly being used against us, our freedom and justice.
What does my man do?”
Journalist: “He creates the opposite.”
Me: “That’s right. He creates not only a (TRULY) secure messaging system but also a platform similar to Facebook where the info is not only safe but will never be exploited for his own gain or anyone else’s gain. And that’s just the start.“
Journalist: “Sounds as if his company is just as political as he is.”
Me: “Yup! At the end of the day, who you are should reflect across everything you do. You can’t be a two-faced bitch. I couldn’t marry a man who is one person at home and another out there in the world.“
Journalist: “But if he’s in politics, doesn’t that take even more time away from the two of you?”
Me: “Of course, LOL. There are endless debates which he has online with others and then there is the update he shares with me. And the meetings he goes to, the people who want to talk to him and ask for his help to sort out council problems. And he actually gets issues fixed in no time. Can you imagine if he became the prime minister?”
Journalist: “Give me a second… No, I can’t imagine, he’s too much a man of his word.”
Me: “Funny you should say that, that’s exactly what the Chief Inspector here in Warwickshire said when JB was asked to organise the #blacklivesmatter protest here in Nuneaton. They met twice before the 14th June, discussing strategy and safety and after the successful and very peaceful protest, I talked to that chief and that’s the first thing he said to me – ‘Your husband truly is a man of his word‘.
So you see, it’s not just me mooning over him just because he’s my man.
Let’s revisit the idea of him becoming the prime minister. Imagine. He’d be the only combat trained real alpha man, a politician who could equally represent any group in the country because he’s experienced almost every form of abuse and poverty, including being homeless. Then again he also knows what it means to have a well earning job and yet he doesn’t care about wealth whatsoever.
Did you know, he actually challenged our current prime minister to a trial by combat? Twice.”
Journalist: “You’re kidding! Trial by combat? With what? Swords?”
Me: “Swords, hands, whatever. My husband is Batman, don’t forget. And trial by combat seems to be an old British tradition which is still valid.”
Journalist: “Let me guess – he never got a response.”
Me: “Nope! Could you imagine though? It would be fabulous – this country would quickly resolve its biggest issues over night and have a leader who actually cares.”
Journalist: “How do you picture him in the Houses of Parliament?”
Me: “Oh, I think the people would love him because he would give them what they love most – a proper show. Just picture him; as eloquent as he is and yet with that fantastic directness, relentless in debates, holding everyone accountable. He would keep it real. And yeah…finally they’d have someone easy to look at. LOL, had to be said, sorry.”
Journalist: “Would he keep it real even in his own party? Maybe I should have asked this first – in which party is he?”
Me: “In #Labour for now because for a brief moment there was the hope of #Corbyn putting things back on track.”
Journalist: “For now? Why for now?”
Me: “Well, he is holding accountable both people in Labour as well as in the Tory party. But neither of them are doing what’s right and he is so fed up with it, that a lot of people have pointed out, they won’t vote for him in Labour or Tory, but they would vote for HIM any day, if…”
Journalist: “If he had his own party!”
Me: “Bingo! Maybe that’s where things are going. I keep telling him, he needs to be on his own. He can’t change something so rigid and old.
All our countries need younger people involved and take over because they get it. Younger people don’t need to be explained or argued with why racism is bad, why we need to change things. And it seems the time has come where people have had enough and are ready to take over the old reins, and build a new world with better values.”
Journalist: “How do you envision your marriage if he should really have his own company, his own party, perhaps even become the new leader of this country?”
Me: “I would look at the one biggest role model of femininity and feminism in one.”
Journalist: “Michelle Obama.”
Me: “Michelle Obama, clearly. She shows that you can’t be selfish and demand attention if you want your man to be the best version of himself. And finally my twenty years of organising everyone else’s lives would come in handy to help assist with my husband’s.”
Journalist: “So you’d give up everything…for him?”
Me: “Who says I would be giving up anything? Do you remember our staircase tax? The kiss he wants to give me before I leave the room? That would never change.
That’s the great thing about a true alpha man – you don’t have to fight for his attention. He will shower you with love every spare second he has. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes a bit less, but I never have to beg for it.
Also he would never let me stop pursuing my own career which is to help bring men and women closer together again.
A true hero acts like a hero all the time, especially in his marriage. That’s why he’s doing all these crazy things in the first place – for his family, for the future of his children.”